My Blog

I hit a wall this weekend.  Not literally of course.  It wasn’t like the time when I was seven and I was strolling the wondrous amusement park Cedar Point and was mesmerized by the pirate ship that I didn’t pay attention to the large marble poll I was about to so rudely make the acquaintance of head first.  (Yeah my brother laughed for a good 5 minutes while I cried and laughed at the same time.)   This is a metaphor for one of those moments where I saw the glass in front of me but for some reason I looked away and turned not soon enough and smacked right into it-leaving smudges from my face planting on the surface;-)  Yeah I really came to a realization harshly this weekend.  I s’pose I need to be knocked up side the head-metaphorically speaking-sometimes ’cause I am a fighter-I care a lot-but sometimes maybe I need to know when to walk away.  I don’t know-but I had a blast despite that one wall this weekend!  The new folks I have met in this crazy town have made my NY experience all the more wonderful-you know who you are and you’re pretty rockin’ each one of you!  Thanks=)

Peace.

Em

letting go.  being free.  I had a blast with y’all this weekend.  I am finally home and showered(I know yer all thinkin’-"thank God she was ripe";-)  NYC has been quite good for me and so have the new faces and places.  Thanks to all of you-you all are pretty rockin’-you facebook lovin’ folk=)  I am gonna try out that whole sleep thing tonight.  I hear it’s all the rage-we’ll see.  I’ll keep you posted!

After our long game of Frisbee in Central today I was thinking about my statements I had made about how I used to approach all sports.  I am still to this day quite a perfectionist about things.  When it came to sports, I could get pretty p.o.-ed with myself if I wasn’t doing as well as I thought I should.  It got so bad that I just stopped playing sports all together because I just didn’t enjoy it anymore.  Well I hated the fact that for years I would avoid any sports activities in the mere fear that perhaps I wouldn’t be good enough in my eyes or other’s eyes.  So my not playing actually made me feel even worse.  Worse than playing and getting upset with myself-I knew I was missing out.  Well, I don’t know when the day arrived but somehow I finally let go of any pride that I might have been grappling onto and I played Frisbee golf with some friends.  I would like to say that I played an amazing round and kicked some serious butt that day=)  But truthfully I was ridiculously horrible-I ended up having to hastily search for my putter in the brush more often than not.  But although I sucked hard;-) my letting go entailed that that day consisted of no anger, no huffiness, no regret and in tern was nothing but smiles and laughter and of course mostly at myself. 

Yeah I know, as usual I am using a story as a metaphor for how we face life.  Or at least how I do-but I think you all can see echoes of this in your life too.  Fear of failure, of losing, of inadequacy, or in my case not being able to throw a Frisbee for beans;-)   Ahhhh….I kid=) You know I don’t have that fear anymore ’cause I have accepted the reality that I in fact cannot throw a  Frisbee for beans;-)  We all know that just as you do, I also have other fears a bit bigger than Frisbee throwing.

That’s all I got for now.  Smile.

Peace.

Em   

A  scene is painted.  A beautiful woman from India smiles at me as I take the lone seat left in the car.  Although ear phones are used, the young lady fading in and out of sleep seems to like Prince.  Off to my left the hispanic middle aged woman reaches out and pulls gently with her left hand the face of the man beside her.  She sweetly kisses him and strokes his cheek.  I turn back toward the beautiful Indian woman and smile again and tell her "I can’t wait to get home".  She says, "me either, it’s been a long day" in her wonderful accent.  I agreed and explained that this was my stop.  As I walked away she said "goodbye" and I said "take care". 

Hmmm…. I love people watching=)  And I always enjoy meeting new faces where ever I go.  Like the sweet woman today.

Send a story my way if you can…I would love for any of you to paint a scene for me=)

Much Love.

Em

I should sleep right now-I will in a bit in fact.  My pillow beckons me-really it does, no joke.  In fact it sounds a lot like Barry White;-)  But I haven’t written in a while.  So I will write a tid bit.  As usual Em started chatting with a random stranger on the train.  (I know the third person thing is a bad sign-but at least I don’t talk to myself in the mirror-yet;-)  A soccer player-artist from Korea.  He just came over to the states a year and a half ago and his english is pretty good.  He gave me a piece of his art work!

That is all.

Sweet dreams to you.